10 ways bloggers are like James Bond

Posted by Ben on October 28, 2008 | Permalink | Hits: 410 

| Blogging Personalities | 10 types of blog: Can you spot yours? >

1. They are experts at everything.

Bond knows his stuff. It's annoying, isn't it? But don't worry, because blogging is easy! You can write about anything and everything and people will think "wow, that blogger knows their stuff!".

A hint: write what you know. It's easier, you can be yourself, and you don't have to check the details of every other sentence with Wikipedia.

2. They are always saving the world.

The very nature of 007's job involves battling with supervillains who want to take over the world.

The same is not normally true of blogging, but plenty of people are searching for fame and fortune. It's pretty hard to save the world if you're not sure what needs to be done. Then again, bloggers can unite to move mountains. Well, not literally - that's where Bond comes in!

Still, not every post can save the world - you may be trying a bit too hard.

3. Just when you think it's all over, they come back.

Bond must be immortal. Not only has he survived a lot of things that no ordinary person would be able to (or that conveniently went his way in the nick of time), he's also regenerated into a variety of different faces, but without the Doctor Who-style regeneration scenes.

And just when you thought a blogger had quit blogging, they're back, apologising for not posting for ages only to disappear once again after a few posts.

4. They pull off outrageous stunts to reach their goals.

Bond has cars, boats, planes, he's even been known to steal a weird moon buggy. He doesn't just drive on the road like everyone else does, or sail a boat across the ocean. He takes every opportunity he gets to drive off-road, up ramps and through the air, and let's not forget the boats that jump across the road.

Bloggers have linkbait. It's not the same really, is it? Still, it seems some bloggers like to make things up or start fights just to get hits. But you can complain all you want about how silly it is to do this - it seems to work...

5. They ignore advice, then wonder why they crash and burn.

It's a bit of a running joke that Bond wrecks a lot of the equipment he's given. He's told to "pay attention", but still manages to destroy things. As a blogger, you should listen to advice, don't just assume it doesn't apply to you! Naturally, this tip doesn't apply to me...

6. You root for them, but laugh when they get slapped.

The Bond fight scenes are the best! But it's always fun to see Bond caught in a tight spot, how's he going to get out of it? It wouldn't be as entertaining if he never got so much as a scratch or a bruise on him.

When a blogger criticises other bloggers all day long, trash-talking blogs who don't update or blogs who don't drop back, don't you secretly want to see an angry mob add some heated comments to the debate?

Well, I don't.

7. They show you the world without having to leave your seat.

Bond travels a lot, although admittedly in some movies it's clearly just for the views - in Bond's case, he's usually looking for the ladies.

Photo blogs are a great way to say "I've seen that!" without actually being there. Not that you can really share any of your own stories, of course, but who's to know?

"I guess you had to be there."

8. They give out their name at every available opportunity.

"The name's Bond, James Bond." He likes to give out his name even though he's supposed to be undercover (isn't he?).

Now compare that to your average blogger. "The name's blogger, average blogger." Hmm, I forget my point here. Anyway, moving swiftly on...

9. They are dedicated to their job despite being poorly paid.

In Bond's case, maybe this is something to do with his gambling pursuits. He likes the casino. He always seems to win.

With bloggers, who actually makes money online? Oh yeah... a few people here and there. Overall though, most do not. Still, does that stop us blogging? Of course not. That's the beauty of blogging.

10. The best ones are unforgettable.

You know a really good Bond movie - you can remember every last detail. The title, the music, the fight scenes, the chase scenes, the Bond girl, the villain, the climax, the ending. Goldfinger is probably my favourite. So many great things about that movie.

Wtih a great blog, you could possibly nit-pick, but it's hard to find faults: the writing, the design, and the overall focus of the blog just work beautifully together. You know one when you find one.

Well, that's the top 10! Any more you'd like to add?

With special thanks to Ken Armstrong for some most all but one of the 10 ways. The write-ups are my own, though.

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